Dining Bilingual in Baños

Now that the holidays are here, remember that nothing quite beats the delights of eating out on the delicacies of "Baños de Ambato"!

You can start out with an aperitif of "it came boiled" (vino hervido), and an appetizer of "plugs" (tacos) filled with "verdures" (verduras). The soup dish could be a delicious "it cremates of funguses or asparaguses" (crema de hongos o asparagus).

For the entrée, try the delicious "trout to the steam" (trucha al vapor), "loin to the plate" (lomo a la plancha), "pigchop to the pinecone" (chuleta a la piña), or "chicken to the juice" (pollo al jugo), with side orders of "fried pope" (papa frita), "pottages" (menestras), and "moneyless mature" (plátano maduro).

If that doesn't do it for you, how about some "padded breast to the iron" (pechuga a la plancha), "language to the coal" (lengua a la brasa), or "head with gears" (res con guarniciones), with a side order of "popes to the fathom" (papas a la braza), "I marinate of garlic" (adobo de ajo), and "turnovers padded of cheese" (empanadas rellenas de queso).

Beverages will include "aromatic waters" (aguas aromáticas), "juice of default" (jugo de mora), or "gaseous tails" (colas gaseosas). To top it all off, how about some "prostrate" (postres), like "plums happens" (ciruelas pasas) or your favorite flavor of "icy" (helado) in an "it surrounds freeze" (copa helada).

But beware of scrutinizing the "menu to the letter" (menú a la carta) too closely, or you may come away with an acute case of linguistic indigestion or translator's trauma.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all "good provech"!