Dealing with Criticism

The issue of how to deal with criticism from the recipients of a service – educational or otherwise – is an important one that should not be taken lightly. We need try to understand where that criticism comes from in order to address it properly, and not just accept it as an inevitable test of our personal egos. A few examples of causes and approaches might be:

1. In the best of cases, criticism may be well-founded and require serious attention in order to solve the problems identified by those who complain. Of course, we would all like for others to come to us directly and present any problems in a positive, constructive way, but this is seldom the case. Few are trained in methods of constructive criticism (nobody is born knowing), and many feel impotent vis-à-vis the system and doubt that their voices will be heard, that they will be taken into account seriously and that they can influence any change. So instead of being proactive and supporting the authorities in their efforts to identify potential issues and solve them, they limit themselves to criticizing and complaining, often to the wrong people who lack decision-making authority.

To deal with this while avoiding the need for personal transformation, many organizations install “Suggestion Boxes” where their employees can place anonymous notes to their superiors. Establishments such as hotels continually ask customers for feedback, both to improve their service and keep them from complaining to others and tainting their image. The Bahá'í Administrative System is unique in this respect, because it includes built-in feedback mechanisms such as consultations during 19-Day Feasts, District / National / International Conventions, the entire apparatus of the Institution of the Counselors, and the fact that anyone can write a letter to or request consultation with any Bahá'í institution. The friends are not only allowed but encouraged to give their input to improve the way we work, in a joint learning process. However, this system requires personal transformation to acquire the necessary concepts, skills, attitudes and qualities to make it work, such as learning the deceptively simple art of Bahá'í consultation.

So in projects and organizations, it is important to think about how to implement these different approaches to achieve the kind of positive feedback and input that is needed.

2. In some cases complaints may be part of an organizational culture of criticizing the system, which began for historical reasons that few remember, and is just being reproduced by each new group of beneficiaries who blindly follow the example of the older ones. This was the case, for example, in a local high school that started out with a very relaxed discipline and got more and more strict as the years went by, which bothered the students. This can be addressed by talking to the students about their concerns and suggestions, but also presents an opportunity to work with them on certain spiritual qualities and moral attitudes such as tolerance, overlooking the faults of others, concentrating on our own faults, using the power of appreciation and encouragement, etc.

3. In other cases, criticism may be an indirect way of achieving some other goal. It may be used as a substitute for participating constructively and actively, in which case we need to encourage proactivity. For example, in a school parents will complain about everything as a means of feeling that they are somehow involved in their children’s education. When this happened in one school, the director made it a requirement for a member of each child’s immediate family to spend one morning or afternoon per quarter serving as the teacher’s assistant. As soon as they began to feel truly involved, the complaining stopped and the director started receiving more useful feedback.

4. For some people, complaining and criticizing acts as an emotional compensation for their own feelings of low self-esteem and lack of self worth. By attacking an authority, they feel that they place themselves at the same level of that authority, which makes them feel important and powerful. A good way to address this issue is by talking and acting in such a sincerely humble and supportive way that will demonstrate that they do not need that kind of behavior in order to talk to each other on the same level, by showing your respect for their dignity as human beings of equal value, which will strengthen their self esteem.

5. Finally, the criticism may be part of a broader culture of attacking anyone who may be seen as having a position of authority. According to Dr. Moojan Momen, this is very much the case in the Iranian culture, for example, which over its long history of subjection to oppressive foreign rule, has developed an attitude of passive (and sometimes not-so-passive) resistance to any top-down authority. Dr. Momen claims that because of this, in Iranian culture, authority is largely gained by increasing personal prestige, from the bottom up, and not so much through direct designation from above. He explains that this is how Iran’s unique Shi’i system works, with religious authorities rising up gradually through the accrual of prestige, rather than being designated by a higher authority as in the Catholic Church, for example.

This “moral” authority apparently is often achieved by seeking power without appearing to do so, feigning humility to mask one’s inner pride, making sure that one’s good deeds are noted by others, seeming to serve others while in fact serving oneself through such dominant styles of leadership as know-it-all and paternalism, and the ‘territorialism’ of making sure that others do not invade one’s sphere of influence. In this type of system, the best way to weaken such positions of authority to achieve some personal gain is often not through formal channels or democratic electoral procedures, but rather through personal and public criticism and attacks (verbal or otherwise).

Needless to say, these things are not limited to Iranian culture by any means, but are some of the many tricks that the "insistent self" plays on the hearts and minds of people around the world. Each agent of social change is best positioned to know to what extent this is true in his or her own environment, and in what direction it is evolving, as cultures are quite fluid and are continually changing. To the extent that it is the case, any sociocultural intervention in this regard will require facilitating a process of profound questioning of deeply-rooted mental models, which may be strongly reinforced by tradition and may take a lot of work to overcome, and replacing them with new conceptual frameworks and related capabilities.