It's Raining Outside

It’s raining outside, and its dark,
And tomorrow I’ll be 18.
And they tell me I’ll be a man then.
I’ll just go to sleep, and then
It will be day, and I’ll just be there,
And the sun is shining, and the birds are singing,
And tomorrow I’ll be 18.
And they say I’ll be a man then.
But its raining outside, and it’s dark.

Inside, it’s warm, and I’m dry,
And there’s food if I want it.
There’s even music if I need it.
My mother used to sing to me
Before I was born.
She would just hum, and sing
And sometimes laugh.
And I can feel her song
Right through her warm muscles,
Vibrating and flowing and caressing me.
And there’s food when I want it,
And music when I need it.
And inside it is warm, and dry.

A moment ago I was wet.
And I was riding my bicycle
In the rain.
But then it was light
And I knew why, so I cried
In the rain.
‘Cause I remembered my mother
When it was dark and warm
And then it was light,
And I cried.
Then I breathed ‘till it hurt.
She took me and held me
And she would just hum, and sing
And always laugh
And I heard her.
She is beautiful, too.
I know because I could see.
And I could taste and smell and feel
And go for walks
In the rain.

It used to be light
When I was a boy.
And I could run in the fields
And catch butterflies,
And I could jump rocks
In the stream, and swim.
Then I would get dry and warm
And I would sit on my mother’s lap,
And she would just hum and sing
But never laugh.
And I could feel her song
Right through her warm body,
When I was a boy.

But it’s raining outside
And it’s dark,
And tomorrow I’ll be 18.
But it isn’t light
And there aren’t any fields
Or butterflies,
And there aren’t any rocks to jump
In the stream, and swim.
Now I’m warm and dry
And I’m crying,
Cause I want to sit on my mother’s lap
And feel her hum and sing
And always laugh.

When I was growing up
I was in bed real early,
And my mother came
And tucked me in.
Then she said good night 12 year old.
And there I was.
Alone.

And tomorrow I would be a teenager.
And they told me it wasn’t that much
Being a teenager,
But they didn’t remember.
I’ll just go to sleep, and then
It will be day, and I’ll just be there.
And the sun is shining,
And the birds are singing,
And my mother would come and say
Good morning 13 year old.
And then I’ll be a teenager.
But there I was.
Alone.

I got up and went to the window
To see what it was like,
But it wasn’t there yet.
It wasn’t raining outside,
And it was quiet.
And there I was.
Alone.

Now I’m a teenager.
And my movie tickets say
Adult on them.
And I get to go to high school,
And they let me get a job,
And there was something else they let me do
I forgot.
But I know it wasn’t as much fun
As sitting on my mother’s lap,
And feeling her hum and sing.
But then she would cry.
And I could feel her tears
Right through her heart.
And I’d cry too,
And snuggle close,
And I’d be warm and dry.

I guess being 18 will be okay.
I’ll get to go to the bar and drink,
Except I’d rather run in the fields
And catch butterflies.
I could also go to the polls
And vote,
‘Cept I’d rather jump rocks
In a stream and swim.

Maybe when I’m 21
It’ll really be good.
They tell me there is something
Really special I can do then.
Whatever it is I hope
It’s as much fun as
Going for walks
In the rain.

It’s raining outside and it’s dark,
And tomorrow I’ll be 18.
And they tell me I’ll be a man then.
Alone.